I haz gone and done it...

I haz gone and done it...I iz hiring meself an attorney, hiz name iz Rufus Rabbit, cookie attorney. He will see to it I getz my fees, payable and on time. I know da cookie fairy haz come to our house in da past but I don't fink I haz ever heard of da "Cookie Snatcher"...so mom haz NO excuse for why she is paying me in HALF COOKIES. I don't understand her reasoning....here's my take....
I Titan Tagliavia Pooper Patrolman as sworn, (by RIley da Pooper Captain) will uphold all my duties to notify mommy and daddy whenever somepup haz to go outside for business. I will tell you each and every time, which by the way I exceed my duties in this area as I am ranked MARKSMAN...hehehehehe No pun intended. 
The responsibilities of da mommy and daddy is to actually pay me...I mean,.... dey haz to pay my fee for all duties performed, meaning if I inform you by either verbal (bark) or nonverbal (pawing at your arm till you pay attention to me) that a pup, any pup...me, Sandy, or Boo haz to outside and dey GO, den I get getz a WHOLE cookie. Dees were the arrangements Riley left in place before he handed over da responsibility to me. You knew going into dis contract what da terms were and you agreed to dem, so quit stiffin me wif half cookies! No where in da contract does it allow you to modify it for any reason...and da excuse mom gives is BOLOGNA, oh wait dat could subastute for a cookie, but back to my point...WHOLE COOKIES....weight control my batookis...dats right I said "batookis" I am an angry pup, half cookies...! 
So if dees conditions are not met, den I will haz Rufus Rabbit, cookie attorney...make some calls. Rufus Rabbit, cookie attorney haz friends in high places I know he haz a friend Zack Rabbit wif television connections...I will go public wif dis injustice if I haz to





******todays rant brought on by a HALF COOKIE*****